Buddhism only really began to become an integral part of my life after I attended the PETRONAS scholars' motivational programme called 'Soaring the Eagle' at Port Dickson this year. My facilitator remarked that I seemed to be a 'spiritual' person in how I viewed the world around me.

This brought up a lot of questions in me about faith. And yes, religion scares me. Watching people hate each other on the basis of practicing different faiths is demoralizing. Even among members of the same faith with different interpretations there are conflicts.

Buddhism is different because it is not a religion, it is a way of life. The most important part of Buddhism is its focus on moderation, on living a good life and treating people well as we go along. People seem to have forgotten to be good for being good, especially in this day and age. Religion has become too much of a bad thing if people are willing to kill others in its name.

Don't look at me like that. Yes, I know I can spin a pretty colorful yarn once in awhile, but its the stories that captivate and inspire that I wish to pen. I dream of writing stories that make people think, make them wonder, and above all, make them dare to dream big, think big, act big because they can.

I look for inspiration everywhere. Somehow or other though, I seem to be collecting dozens of ideas for an alternate-reality Earth of some sort. Regardless, while I strive to find my muse, I shall pen another series revolving around something like that.

Ideas, comments and suggestions on how to write inspiring stories are much appreciated!

Just so you know, I'm feeling very self-conscious as I type this.

The only reason why I don't is because I get the jitters and start to shake and chatter when I try to sing. But I've already had positive feedback from my first "public" (*coughs*) performance, so I'm looking to improve myself. Not as a career or talent, but just for fun so I can confidently pick up a karaoke mike when times call for it.

Not just to weasel out of having to elaborate (since Jasmine's already put this down as one of her facts.. *laughs*), but because it really is necessary.

I mean, considering the relatively high number of sexual crimes in Malaysia (incest, rape, molest, sodomy, etc.) - especially in a certain conservative state which happens to be the last bastion of a particular religious political party *hmmm* - it's high time our youth be exposed to the issue of sex(uality) without it being taboo! The only way they really learn things currently is through hushed whispers and dirty jokes.. and then some.

And while we're at it, how about some classes on ways to have sex (hands-on lessons not recommended)? It's not just about procreation, you know. Sometimes I do wonder what guys and girls out there really know about "it".

Jocelyn observed I have a habit of being random at times, which is true (only I didn't think of it at all). I swing between being painstakingly annoying and overly enthusiastic faster than you can spell premenstrual syndrome. Then again, sometimes I love being over-the-top ballistically bonkers for the sake of ... nothing much in particular.

In the case of being oh-so-drama, I find people's reactions when they see something totally unexpected from me a hoot. I just get a kick out of confusing the hell out of people (or hearing them go sarcastically, "Right.."). So darn funny!

For example, in a recent MSN Messenger conversation with the uber-hot Jasmine (after I was rather indirect in thanking her for providing me with the seventh fact):

[21:30] jasmine: you should've made that obvious
[21:30] jasmine: and stop being so indirectly.
[21:30] jasmine: :P
[21:31] Me: sorryyyyyyyy~~
[21:31] Me: i shall try to remember to be more direct with u in future
[21:31] jasmine: good
[21:31] jasmine: but not tooo direct
[21:31] jasmine: as in like,if my butt bigger,say its smaller
[21:32] jasmine: but then i'll hit you nonetheless
[21:32] jasmine: but much more better that way,rather than you saying that its bigger
[21:32] jasmine: :D
[21:32] Me: girls dont like big butts? *scribbles mental note
[21:33] Me: correction: girls dont like big butts on themselves? *rescribbles notes
[21:34] jasmine: -___-

Damn, that was so worth it! *laughs hysterically*

This little nugget is from Jasmine herself too (which explains why I was thanking her above). During the workshop on children's rights I attended in 2004, I'd snuck into the girls' dorm for.. a midnight chat (don't you go about getting no funny ideas!!). And as we sat there talking in our pajamas, along came the camp facilitators - what a coincidence!

Fortunately (for me), one of the girls saw them coming so I dashed under Jasmine's bed.. and the girls proceeded to cover me in shirts, luggage bags, plastic bags and what-nots to the point of burying me alive under there.

After holding my breath (both in suspense and not to suck in any of the dust where I was) for sometime, the facilitators left, satisfied. The girls had successfully hid me away in their dorm! Under Jasmine's bed! That was seriously one hell of an adrenaline rush. Don't expect me to be doing the same thing in UTP, though! *sticks tongue out*

To quote the big green guy, "You won't like me when I'm angry." Then again, who'd ever like another when that person's angry? Anger sure brings out the worst in people. And it brings out the worst of me. I remember clearly one time in class.. my mates were raising one hell of a ruckus that could bring the roof down (and if you studied in St. Mike's, Ipoh then, there certainly was a possibility).

Next thing I knew I'd raised my head from my work and shouted, "Oi, shut up la!" I was rather surprised when they did. In fact, later one of my classmates (Kee Cheong, a guy who looked smart but also real rough and tough) said it was quite frightening to see my outburst like that.

My kind of anger is the slow poison that will kill you from the inside-out, eating its way through from your heart to every inch of your body. Apparently, I have this chilling manner of selecting just the right words to dissect your emotions, slice by slice, and hurt you deeply. Ask Henry; we've had our fair share of fights and misunderstandings, and I wasn't exactly very civil, either.

So the next time you cross my path, don't say you weren't warned. *evil laugh*